Okay, so I totally had a complete meltdown yesterday. A full on whiny, stomping feet, crying, frustrated, out of control, don’t want to be touched or consoled, meltdown…. it didn’t help it was Monday either.
The catalyst of my crazy meltdown wasn’t wedding related, although the stress of how much we still need to do started to creep in (even though the list seems short, it tends to compound daily in my head). I just got completely overwhelmed with everything school related. I have found that I have difficulty getting any work done at school or home without interruption. I can’t seem to go a 3 hour timespan (or even 1.5 hour time span) without being bothered. Whether the interruption be going to actual classes, teaching, helping out students, attending planning meetings, driving out to ridiculous places for class field trips in the middle of the day, group projects, e-mails from students and professors, or even the sweet Mr. Knight watching football or simply just wanting to spend time with me.
Mr. Knight tried so hard Mondy night to make me feel better. He explained that I always get like this in the first few weeks of the semester.. I get overwhelmed and freak out and think I will never finish anything. Every semester feels worse and worse and this semester I feel like I’m drowning. Unfortunately I was so upset Monday night that nothing Mr. Knight could do or say was making me feel better, I was just one big ball of stress.
Tuesday I realized the power of music and how it can totally make you feel much better, even when you are the most stressed. I was driving in the car Tuesday morning (running errands), still a little stressed from the night before when a really happy song came on (not sure if it was by The Fray, or Miley Cyrus… I know there is a BIG difference between the two), either way I felt instantly better. I couldn’t believe it. I was getting all happy all over my body thinking about the song and singing to it. Whatever song it was, it was certainly powerful. It made me realize that school is simply school. I work as hard as I can, and that is the best I can do. I can’t eat away at myself when I’m doing the best that I can do. I need to live life and enjoy the little time I get to spend with Mr. Knight in the evenings, instead of being pouty face and crying about school.
Matt Nathanson “Come On Get Higher”
Miley Cyrus “Party in the USA”
Sometimes you really do just have to take a deep breath and take the time to smell the roses (and enjoy life). You only get one, make sure to make the most of it and take the time to enjoy it with the people you love.