My Monday Meltdown

Okay, so I totally had a complete meltdown yesterday. A full on whiny, stomping feet, crying, frustrated, out of control, don’t want to be touched or consoled, meltdown…. it didn’t help it was Monday either.

The catalyst of my crazy meltdown wasn’t wedding related, although the stress of how much we still need to do started to creep in (even though the list seems short, it tends to compound daily in my head). I just got completely overwhelmed with everything school related. I have found that I have difficulty getting any work done at school or home without interruption. I can’t seem to go a 3 hour timespan (or even 1.5 hour time span) without being bothered. Whether the interruption be going to actual classes, teaching, helping out students, attending planning meetings, driving out to ridiculous places for class field trips in the middle of the day, group projects, e-mails from students and professors, or even the sweet Mr. Knight watching football or simply just wanting to spend time with me.

Mr. Knight tried so hard Mondy night to make me feel better. He explained that I always get like this in the first few weeks of the semester.. I get overwhelmed and freak out and think I will never finish anything. Every semester feels worse and worse and this semester I feel like I’m drowning. Unfortunately I was so upset Monday night that nothing Mr. Knight could do or say was making me feel better, I was just one big ball of stress.

Tuesday I realized the power of music and how it can totally make you feel much better, even when you are the most stressed. I was driving in the car Tuesday morning (running errands), still a little stressed from the night before when a really happy song came on (not sure if it was by The Fray, or Miley Cyrus… I know there is a BIG difference between the two), either way I felt instantly better. I couldn’t believe it. I was getting all happy all over my body thinking about the song and singing to it. Whatever song it was, it was certainly powerful. It made me realize that school is simply school. I work as hard as I can, and that is the best I can do. I can’t eat away at myself when I’m doing the best that I can do. I need to live life and enjoy the little time I get to spend with Mr. Knight in the evenings, instead of being pouty face and crying about school.

Matt Nathanson “Come On Get Higher”

Miley Cyrus “Party in the USA”

Sometimes you really do just have to take a deep breath and take the time to smell the roses (and enjoy life). You only get one, make sure to make the most of it and take the time to enjoy it with the people you love.

8 Comment

  1. Amen.

  2. Grad school takes its toll on you for sure. I’ve been done just over a year now and am still recovering :) But I think you have the right attitude. Hopefully the rest of the week will go smoothly and if you can, spend some time over the weekend doing something for you. And you know how the saying goes: What do they call the doctor who graduated last in his/her class? Doctor! :)

  3. @ChocolateLover: I completely agree. I stress so much about getting good grades in Grad school. What is the difference between an A and a B in the real world? I don’t think a firm will really care. But… I care…which is my problem! (I currently have a 4.0 in Grad school… yes I’m a loser!)

    @Kyle Farris: Loved spending time with you last night and talking. It was truly wonderful my sweetness! :-)

  4. CTS861 says:

    I commend you for being so on top of things! I’m still in undergrad and architecture is killer! I can’t even imagine how tough grad school is. So in my book, you’re doing great!

    Good luck with the end of your week!

  5. Katey says:

    I feel that as a college student I should have more refined taste in music, but on a stressful day nothing makes me happier than Miley Cyrus or some good ghetto rap music. I’m not in grad school yet, but it’s the point of the semester now that the tests are happening every week and the assignments are coming more frequently, on top of work is stressful enough, so for you to have to add in your wedding planning I can only imagine how you feel. My advice is to make a list of everything (seperate lists for school/wedding/etc. just so it doesnt get too overwhelming) and make sure to put things on it that can be checked off (not all long term stuff). It’s such a good feeling to watch those things be checked off your list. At least for me it is.

  6. My sister does this at the beginning of every semester too. You can do this, you can handle this…hell, you have a 4.0 in grad school, you rock! Take it day by day…and Miley always helps.

  7. Mary (Mom) says:

    I do the same thing and yes, music always seems to help change my mood. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been doing your best and that’s all that life can expect from you. I’m so proud of you. School will be over all too soon. When school is over, it’s over. Remember that as you work your way thru this semester. Then it’s only 1 semester to go! Love you darling. Have a good week this week. Okay?

  8. marina says:

    Kimberly, take it from someone who has lived what seems like a very long time….do the very best you can ( and with a 4.0 I would imagine that you are) but also take time for YOU! Maybe it’s you and Mr. Knight or maybe it’s just getting in the car, putting on some music you love and taking a drive. Sometimes it’s just putting everything in a mental cabinet and shutting that cabinet for a couple of hours. I know it’s really hard when you have so much to do to take time for yourself but it is sooo important and you deserve it! Like your Mom I am also very proud of you and very happy that my son has a woman like you by his side. So, like you said, definitely take time to STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES! They smell great!

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